Often, it’s not so much what we say as the way we say it. Case in point: the words we use to talk about sex, especially when talking with our children (or whenever they can hear us). Think about these alternatives:

Have sex

Screw

Fornicate

Do one’s “wifely duty”

Get laid

F**k

Be intimate

Make love

They all mean pretty much the same thing—but what a difference in impact!

It’s a valuable lesson for parents. We want to make sure kids know the correct terms for sexual behaviors and body parts—none of that vague “down there” stuff. But we can also choose words that subtly convey our values. Me, I vote for saying “love-making” a lot of the time, especially when you’re talking with your child about his or her (eventual) sexual decisions. It conveys the emotional connection that I think is so important. Whatever your views, keep in mind that the words you use will influence your kids’ unconscious views about sexuality.