A lot of people worry that they’re out of step with what’s “right” or “normal” if they don’t do certain sexual things by certain ages. You may think you should “lose your virginity” by a specific age or there’s something wrong with you. (More later on why I put that in quotes.) You may visualize some […]
Mentioning the “M Word” to Your Kids
So, I can’t believe I almost missed International Masturbation Month. But there’s still time for me to write this post—and for you to use the word in front of your kids.* It’s not as difficult as you might think! (*And, of course, there’s no deadline. This is just an easy way to bring up the […]
When’s the Best Time to Teach “the Birds and the Bees”?
Maybe you haven’t yet had “The Talk” and you’re looking for the right opportunity. Maybe you’re planning to wait for a couple more years. Maybe your kid should be a little older…. Maybe you’ve talked a little about the birds and the bees, but it’s so dang awkward you’d rather not go into more detail…at […]
TalkStarter: Is “Naked” the Same as “Nude”?
Recently I ran across a quote from an artist and writer that got me thinking. In his essay Ways of Seeing, on art criticism, the late John Berger said the following: “To be naked is to be oneself. To be nude is to be seen naked by others and yet not recognized for oneself. A […]
Use Summer Drives for the Birds & the Bees?
Your family may take a road trip this summer. Maybe you’re heading to the beach, to relatives’, or to a campground. You’ll have the kids in the car for a block of time, so maybe you’re thinking about plunging into a talk about sex while there are fewer distractions than usual. It’s probably better if […]
When Is Porn Harmful to Relationships?
Depending on your perspective, you might think pornography is always harmful. Or you might think it’s no big deal. After all, lots of people view porn—it accounts for 35% of all web traffic in the US(!). But an expert in the field of sexuality and relationships explains that really, porn is complicated. Sometimes porn use […]
Too Tired for Sex
With all the demands of modern life, sometimes couples just don’t have the time or energy to spend intimate moments together. With jobs, errands to do, maybe kids, a household to run, and outside commitments, sometimes there just isn’t much left over for your partner. But that’s a problem. Your partner shouldn’t be getting only […]
Which Parent Should Teach the Birds & the Bees?
Teaching kids about sex is uncomfortable for most parents. If you’re a single parent, the task pretty much falls to you, comfortable or not. But if there are two parents in the picture, who should cover it? Can you let your spouse handle the job? Well, maybe…but not really. It’s best for kids if both […]
TalkStarter for Couples: Let the Music Play
For each of us, all sorts of things can trigger sexual feelings and memories. Smells, sensations, words—and music. A lot of what we find sexy comes from our distant past, including childhood. Our arousal patterns—what does it for each of us—are unique and complex. Some elements we may not even be consciously aware of. But […]
TalkStarter: What Does “Sexually Empowered” Mean?
A lot of female celebrities lead with their sexuality. Think performers with low-cut tops, skirts that barely cover butts, and dance moves that you’d associate with strip clubs. Think starlets who “accidentally” release nude photos, or celebrities who’ve built or boosted mainstream careers using video of themselves having sex. Many of these women claim that […]