I hear that question sometimes from people who are uncomfortable about other people’s sexual orientation or gender identity. Even people who try to be open-minded may not really understand what it’s like to be gay or trans, and they’re a little freaked out because they can’t imagine what gays or transgender people do sexually. If you’re […]
My Body May Be Aroused–But I Still Don’t Want to Sleep with You
So there’s this interesting truth about women’s bodies: physical arousal and desire aren’t the same thing. It’s possible to want to have sex with your partner even if your body isn’t hot and bothered yet (because you love the person, want the connection, whatever). It’s also possible to experience all the signs of physical arousal […]
What My Sex-Therapist Friend Told Me
The other day I caught up with a psychotherapist friend who’s in training to also be a sex therapist. She mentioned that the clients she sees come in for two main reasons: Most of the men come to treat porn addictions, and most of the women want to be treated for low desire. On the […]
What Makes It So Hard to Talk about Sex?
When I tell people that I write about sexuality, some are enthusiastic or curious. More often, people cringe, or get pale, or flush. Sex is such an uncomfortable topic that we have a physical reaction to the mere mention of it. Folks have sex and (hopefully) enjoy it…but talking about it is a whole ‘nuther […]
Does Your Teen Know This Crucial Fact about Sex?
We live in a world where we—and our kids—are bombarded by sex. TV, movies, and other media are chock-full of casual sex, jokes about sex, pitying comments about the few poor unlucky souls who aren’t getting laid…. It seems like every (non-pitiful) young person you see on screen is having sex—a lot of sex—often casually–and […]
Teens, Power, & Sex
There’s so much going on in teens’ social world that it can be hard for parents to know where to start. Even if kids were inclined to talk with parents about school social dynamics (which they usually aren’t), they’re so immersed in it that they have no frame of reference. We may not know the […]
Is Your Inner Voice Ruining Your Sex Life?
Sex is supposed to feel good. Unfortunately, sometimes the internal voices we all have in our heads can get in the way. Even with a loved and loving partner, we can be running an internal soundtrack that keeps us from enjoying the experience. When it comes to sex, there are two main kinds of unhelpful […]
TalkStarter for Adults: What Has Sex Meant to You at Different Times?
Sex is such a rich and complex part of the human experience. It means a lot to most people—and it can mean different things at different times in our lives. What has been your experience of sex? How has your view of sex changed at various stages of your life? Did its meaning change when […]
Feeling “Meh” About Sex Tonight? Your Relationship Status Matters
If the person next to you wants to have sex tonight and you’re not sure whether you’re in the mood, should you do it? It depends on who the person next to you is. Suppose the person who’s looking for action is someone you don’t know well or who just wants casual sex. If you […]
TalkStarter for Teens & Preteens: Sex That Sells
Have you ever stopped to think about how many ads use sex to sell a product? So many do that we can become numb to them. But if you stop to notice, you’ll see attractive people, mostly women, in advertising for every imaginable product. Many of these women are wearing tight, skimpy clothes and often […]