This is the time of year when we embrace what scares us: ghosts, zombies, skeletons. A lot of Halloween stuff is about death, if you think about it…a plenty uncomfortable topic for most of us. And yet we go there this time of year (albeit in a way that puts the subject at a comfortably […]
For Parents of Teens and Preteens
Asexual or a Late Bloomer?
Every parent knows that kids bloom in different ways at different times. Some walk earlier or later, toilet train earlier or later, read earlier or later—everything. The same is true for sexual development. Remember middle school? Some kids hit puberty years before others Awkward at the time, but perfectly normal looking back on it. Bodies […]
TalkStarter: Politics, “Locker-Room Language,” and Respect
Part of me hesitates to say anything that touches on this emotionally charged election season. But so much of what’s been going on lately relates to how people treat one another sexually that I can’t ignore it—and neither should parents. It truly is a talk-able moment. Whatever your political views, the recent uproar about Donald […]
What We Can Learn from Loud Porn Stars
If you’ve ever viewed pornography, you know that the women in it don’t tend to be quiet in the sack. They may acquiesce to a man’s desires/demands without speaking up; they may object to whatever he wants and later give in. But once they do give in, they’re plenty vocal in their enthusiasm. (There’s plenty […]
TalkStarter: How Your Early Sex Life Affects Your Kid
Every one of us has our own sexual story. Whether we were virgins when we got married, promiscuous at a young age, or anything in between, our experiences shape our view of ourselves and sexuality. We may regret our past or celebrate it, but it’s part of who we are. It’s also part of how […]
My Body May Be Aroused–But I Still Don’t Want to Sleep with You
So there’s this interesting truth about women’s bodies: physical arousal and desire aren’t the same thing. It’s possible to want to have sex with your partner even if your body isn’t hot and bothered yet (because you love the person, want the connection, whatever). It’s also possible to experience all the signs of physical arousal […]
TalkStarter: Parents Are So Embarrassing
When you’re a teenager, pretty much everything your parents do is embarrassing. But anything they say or do related to sex? Especially if anyone else is around? OMG–mortifying. Even if it’s been a long time since you were a teen, I bet you can remember things your parents said about sex that embarrassed you. This […]
How Triangles Could Be Hurting Your Relationships
Suppose Amy is hurt about something Beth did—say, Beth blew her off at the last minute. Amy then talks to Caitlin about this and tells her how hurt and upset she is. Caitlin listens sympathetically, and Amy feels better. Or suppose Andrew is mad because Brian borrowed $20 and didn’t pay him back—again. Andrew complains […]
What My Sex-Therapist Friend Told Me
The other day I caught up with a psychotherapist friend who’s in training to also be a sex therapist. She mentioned that the clients she sees come in for two main reasons: Most of the men come to treat porn addictions, and most of the women want to be treated for low desire. On the […]
What Makes It So Hard to Talk about Sex?
When I tell people that I write about sexuality, some are enthusiastic or curious. More often, people cringe, or get pale, or flush. Sex is such an uncomfortable topic that we have a physical reaction to the mere mention of it. Folks have sex and (hopefully) enjoy it…but talking about it is a whole ‘nuther […]
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