Many parents make a point of talking with their daughters about puberty, at least about periods, so girls won’t be scared when menstruation starts. But parents may not be as likely to talk with their sons. This is a mistake. Although the signature event of boys’ puberty (first wet dream) is more likely to be […]
For Parents of Teens and Preteens
What Your Daughter Wants to Know at Puberty
Every girl should know about periods well before she starts puberty. (By age 9, please—it’s terrifying for girls who aren’t told what to expect.) But there are many other aspects of sexual development that girls also want to be informed about. The young adults I surveyed mentioned many things they wish they’d known sooner or […]
TalkStarter for Teens and Preteens: 3 All-Purpose Conversation Openers
Sometimes, parents aren’t quite sure what they want to say to their kids about sex. Other times, they know something they want to say, but aren’t quite sure how to get the words out. This happens even with younger kids, but it’s especially true with teens and preteens who may (or may not) know a […]
The Key to Raising Kids Whose Sexual Choices Are Right for Them
Parents have many thoughts and feelings about their kids and sex. We may not want to think about it at all; we may wish one thing or another for them; we may not know quite what we’d like. But I think all parents would agree on one goal: That our kids make sexual choices that […]
Sex and Shame: What You Should (and Shouldn’t) Feel Ashamed About
Shame is one of those awful words. No one likes feeling ashamed, ever. Some people’s early learning about sex involves so much shame and judgment that they want to reject the whole guilt idea altogether. One worldview sees many things related to sexuality as shameful, and another says there’s nothing to be ashamed of, ever. […]
TalkStarter for Teens: The Excitement of Prom
Prom is the highlight of the high school social calendar—with a thick layer of sexual implications and complications. It’s an emotionally and sexually charged time for a lot of teens. It might be an opportunity to talk, or at least to float some observations that might get your kid thinking. “When I was in high […]
Are “Blue Balls” for Real?
Back when I was a teen, a guy would sometimes try to pressure a girl into having sex by saying that if they didn’t, he’d end up with “blue balls”—horrible pain in his testicles caused by sexual arousal without release. I was surprised to learn (from my survey of young adults) that the “blue balls” […]
TalkStarter for Teens and Preteens: The Road Trip
Finding the right opportunity with talk to your teen about sex and relationships can be a challenge. Everyone is so busy, and it’s hard to find a time when conversations can unfold naturally. Solution: Create an opportunity for important conversations by taking your teen or preteen on a road trip. The point of the trip […]
How to Guarantee Your Kid Won’t Talk to You About Sex
Talking about sex is awkward, and many parents would prefer to avoid it if they could. Well, there are several techniques you can use that virtually guarantee your kid will get his or her information about sex and relationships from other sources, letting you off the hook. If you really want to convey “this topic […]
TalkStarter for Teens: Use the News
It seems like every day there’s some sort of sex-related scandal in the news: sexual assaults on some campus, a politician or athlete having an affair, allegations of sexual harassment in some organization. These unhappy situations have one silver lining: They can create a topic of conversation with teens. Teens are most likely to resonate […]