Consent is a complex topic. In theory, it’s easy: No means No and Yes means Yes. In reality, things can be murkier. Minds can change; someone can think a partner’s mind has changed when it hasn’t; there may be mixed signals. One way signals can be mixed is when a person’s body is aroused but […]
What Swing Dance Taught Me about Relationships
When I’m not being a writer and a therapist, I go dancing. Well, not all the time…but a lot. In particular, I go swing dancing. It’s a blast, it’s great exercise, and it’s taught me more about being part of a couple. The culture in social swing dance is that everyone dances with everyone, regardless […]
What’s So Romantic About Walks on the Beach?
When you think of romantic things to do with someone you love, walking on the beach is probably on the short list. But what if you don’t live near a beach? No worries! If you know what makes beach walks romantic, you can apply the ideas anywhere, any time of year. And if you do […]
Should Your Toddler Be Naked at the Beach?
The joys of summer: lakes, beaches, pools; swimsuits instead of jackets. It’s wonderful to embrace the freedom of being outside and feeling the air on your skin. But how much skin should a child show? As in, is it okay for kids to run around in the buff? At what age, if any, does this […]
What’s the Right Age to Have Sex for the First Time?
A lot of people worry that they’re out of step with what’s “right” or “normal” if they don’t do certain sexual things by certain ages. You may think you should “lose your virginity” by a specific age or there’s something wrong with you. (More later on why I put that in quotes.) You may visualize some […]
Mentioning the “M Word” to Your Kids
So, I can’t believe I almost missed International Masturbation Month. But there’s still time for me to write this post—and for you to use the word in front of your kids.* It’s not as difficult as you might think! (*And, of course, there’s no deadline. This is just an easy way to bring up the […]
When Should You Feel Guilty?
It never feels good to feel guilty. Most of us like to think of ourselves as good people who do the right thing and treat other people well. So when we’ve done something wrong, or worry we have, it’s unpleasant. But how do you know if you should feel guilty? How do you know if […]
Do You Close the Door on the Birds and the Bees?
Talking about sex is so awkward that many parents want to put it off. Consciously or unconsciously, they miss opportunities to talk about sexual topics when they come up in daily life. That may be a relief in the moment, but it isn’t great for the long run. How about you? How well do you […]
When Your Kid Says “Don’t Tell Dad”
As much as possible, it’s helpful for parents to work as a team on the birds and the bees (and everything else). Kids benefit from knowing the views of both parents and from being able to ask questions of whomever happens to be around at the moment. I know, that’s not the way it goes […]
How Compliant Should Your Child Be?
When your 3-year-old won’t get dressed in the morning or your 6-year-old refuses to eat anything but chicken nuggets, you may long for compliance. You want a child who cooperates, who listens to parental wisdom without endless arguing, who just does what you say, dang it. Because you want what’s best for your child and […]
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